Yesterday i went to church for the first time in forever - because i was actually allowed out of my house to walk . i could go somewhere. so i went to church with my family. And after church the most dreaded question was asked : Where do you want to go eat.   

I'm on an all vegan diet what do you mean where do you want to go eat. The one place my husband knew would be a semi pleaser got a  bad look of please not there from the others.

Oh the pressure - oh the torture of being put on the spot - i thought i would pee my pants from the torture. as sweet was dripping down my forhead from the way too much attention being drawn to me to pick a place for everyone to eat. I finally just said to eat at backyard burger- because they had potatoes and it was way cheaper than anywhere else  they were naming and The last thing i wanted to shout out under the pressure was dang it people we are poor! poor! we can't eat a 20 -30 dollar meal for all of us - think 10 or none at all. Please just let us go home and be poor and eat our own food at our house! pleasE!!!!!!!! But i was trapped in the corner and put on the spot - next time after church i'm running for the car! 

Anyways so i picked this place that the last time i ate there i got sick too- why had i forgotten the day before my er visit. WHY?!?! 

so we went husband fed-check, daughter fed- check-  rest of family seemingly happy cause they like to eat out ALL the time - check. me - i got chicken- why i dunno i thought i might see if i could get some protein and i had some baked potatoe - and i couldn't eat it plain-  yes this place was so not on my diet.   fast forward to this morning. 

Yeah i got sick , sick again like i did the beginning of this year. but the last zofran i took i happened to keep down. Of course my husband was on the phone with me all this time this morning . telling me it'd be ok- i told him i was dieing of course- 

i'm doing better now that the medicine is kicking in for once. But my husband during the sickness and sounds and being married to the toliet told me he's going to gulfport in a few weeks for work.....overnight......without me. 

I'm going to need a babysitter for me . He cannot leave me alone. I don't know how to function anymore without him- this is not good. i'm already looking for someone to just come hang out for the evening no spending the night- just making sure that i don't fall on the floor and die or end up in the er - i mean anything is possible with this pregnancy.  David suggested that i go to my parents and my head exploded- because i could not fathom packing myself or someone else plus throwing a dog in the action......and i'm not suppose to pick up anything......yes head exploded and then i had to go take more medicine and make more sounds for my poor husband to hear. he deserves a reward for this pregnancy for what he has put up with and helped out with as well. So we both agreed - i needed supervision. 24- 48 hrs without him or without help is going to be too much.  So i need a babysitter. 

But i'm doing a little better now - i may even eat a pure vegan blt tonight for dinner- how i crave the combo of just bacon and tomatoes together-  even if it's vegan bacon and vegan mayo-  basically everything i eat is just tofu.....it all comes from tofu every last bit of it  and dang it do they make it taste good enough- they do. and i can eat it and i am greatful. God bless the tofu! 

thanks for reading -