Nesting....again.


So i've been nesting like crazy. Just a mad woman full of nesting. I'm 5 months and on a mission. To have the best home ever- yes a stretch but i'm determined to have the house the way i'd like it . 100% . The big problem is not only am i nesting but i'm ocd, and a pack rat. i know it makes no sense. So what was suppose to start out as an innocent clear out my perfumes and fix the shelfing in my closet turned out to be - clear out closet , re organize - clean up riley's closet and move baby things to babies closet. Wash baby linens. And clean out my desk and box up what i don't need and somehow find a place for what i need.
Which was : 1- way too much for me too do , 2- way too much- which i was majorly convicted aout through out the night and know i can't do that again. But it got done- Riley helped. My closet is a dream once again and i like it better than when we moved in. Riley's closet is nice and clean and polished with everything in order. Zoe's closet has riley's box full of baby clothes and toys , clean linens , one of those baby bouncer vibrating chairs (i wish i had one for myself) and clothes that are going to be way too big for her but will fit one day so i'm putting em in there. So everyone is in order and my desk is ready to be moved out. I love when things look polished and put together - i get a sense of accomplishment when everything has a place and order- man am i ocd.

The desk was the worst of all because of all the papers and junk- things i didn't need but i had and just stuff. But it was fun to go thru some memories that were hidden in there. My favorite thing i came acorss was from my First baby shower for Riley- my cousin put it together. They had this game or activity wehre they handing out tags and on one side you write when you think i'll deliver and how much the bebe will weigh on the other side you offer some advice or encouragement. She (my cousin) then took all of these pieces and made a book out of it. Yesterday i found this treasure , and snuggled in the encouragement and notes was my mother in laws word of encouragement....... i was stunned and was of course brought to tears what she wrote was perfect and timeless and i have a hand written piece of advice from her for me with my children ( and she signed it Mama Sprayberry- which she was ) ....i am so uber thankful for that gift- it's now sitting in Riley's room on her shelf.

I think that is the hardest or one of the hardest parts about this pregnancy i don't have her- I don't have her timeless advice and encouragement and endless outflowing of unconditional love. How i miss her and crave her .

No one can ever , ever , ever replace her . NEVER. but i have found myself praying for a spiritual moma to come into my life. someone. If it's God's will. I may have used up that though- maybe you only get one per life and my time with mine was so super short. But so precious and sweet.
My mother is not the most motherly type and definatly not the most spiritual or even a picture of unconditional love. So i really crave that influence not only in my life but in riley's , oh i want it for her. Am i to be the only one ....if so for her , that scares me. Completely.
I'm greatful i'll have my husband this time around to take leave time to be with me after Zoe comes but i want that mama figure here too. I think i took her for granted too many times in the beginning.

.....that's really all i can write right now about her or that without completely loosing it as i'm seeing i'm going down that road so i'm going to change the subject quickly........

I'm very excited about getting the bebe room together and Riley is excited as well.
This weekend we'll be finding frames for pictures to hang and finding fabric for pillows to pull the room together.
I hopefully will have her dresser this weekend- which i'm excited about.

Today my mini projects maybe organizing and cleaning out a burrow and sowing some patches on Rileys quilt back together- there are a few splits and i've been meaning to fix if for forever.


Thanks for Reading.