God is completely overwhelming me with his love lately.
I don't think i could even really convey it correctly and fully through this.
This week i got loved on hugely by a dear friend who took time to just talk on the phone- a good phone conversation is just priceless too me - expecially when time is not an issue - how rarely do we give someone our time fully and not care how long we talk or what needs to be done- we just talk and give them attention- what a wonderful gift and blessing, was very much a huge encouragement and i cannot wait to talk again- i never knew what a dear friend i had until now and am ashamed i have not been better and have not taken advantage of her friendship.
I definatly underestimate how much i am loved and desire to be a better lover of others and a better friend- to care about others and let them know how much they are loved. I desire to give more.
My birthday is Monday and my husband totally threw me for a loop when he took me out last night and ended up back at my parents house for a surprise party i never saw coming- talk about humbling - that people would come to celebrate my birthday - some from out of town , some i hadn't seen in forever, some with young kids- what a wonderful group and blend of friendship- and my sweet dear husband had a huge web of lies conceived so i would not figure it out - everyone was in on it , my parents helped with the lies- which i don't endorse lieing but when it is for a great purpose of giving a wonderful gift of love- please go ahead- i even had a cake- my goodness. I do not think i deserve any of the trouble anyone went to , the cake, the food, any of it . i am blessed, and humbled, and overwhelmed with the love God has shown me this week through others. This has been by far the best birthday..... by far.
I love sitting and being at the feet of God asking and waiting for his will- and seeing what he is doing - what a blessing and gift. Yes i maybe on bed rest and yes my placenta is on my cervix ( yes that means i hugely cheated last night by my husband taking him out - but i was not going to rob him of his gift whatever it was going to be ) but i am greatful for this time - of just waiting - of not knowing - cause i know exactly who has me and where i am - in his loving hands. and sometimes when i sit in my recliner i feel and try to visualize that i am just sitting right in the palm of his hand - and everything else just falls away.
Don't get me wrong i still strong and have days where my flesh comes out in full force and i loose sight of it all. sometimes more than others- i am not perfect - i deserve nothing- But i'm starting to really realize the fullness and gift that is God's love.
The times i really loose sight is even a gift - cause it draws me back to him and humbles me at the same time - I am not that great and i cannot do anything without him. And what a picture to have - bed rest - sitting the majority of the day and week - not being able to do much without the help of another - that is how i should live - less my work and more his.


Thanks for reading.