i got all my hair chopped off , and when i mean chopped i mean chopped - like no hair lower than my ears. all gone. so long. i think i'm really excited about this because last night at swimming i got drenched my the kids- my hair got so yet- no there is less to get wet. yay. isn't that silly- i'm going to be teaching kids to swim and i don't want my hair to get yet - i know i'm pretty silly. By the way i love teaching swimming- it's really fun to work with the kids and they are oh so sweet. I'm really excited to see what God is going to do. I'm very thankful for this opportunity. 

Riley has an amazing imagination. she's been carrying around a small baby penguin. and she also got a small pink kitty. she asks people what they think about them have they seen em. Now we also speak to our shadows- yeah like peter pan. it's really never dull. 

I was reading The grace awakening by chuck swindoll ( one of my fav.) and he talks at first about millions of murders in our nation- getting away with murder everyday. Now one of the murderers is Murderer  of Joy- and i think about Riley and her amazing imagination. I don't want to me a killer of joy, hope, love, any of those things. And David is amazing at encouraging her and developing her imagination- Because of his help and encouragement - we not only have a pet alligator that goes thru our house from time to time and our dog is now a shark. We also have pirates that frequent our yard and you get rid of them by throwing ice cream at them---- yeah i know pretty awesome. I wish i was that creative- I pray that my imagination can once again re-blossom and my creativity flourish so i can join in on the creative imaginative family. What a gift and a joy. 

thanks for reading. 

so today we are all suppose to be voting today and well i did not register to vote when i moved . I thought once you registered to vote you were good you didn't have to re-register and all- i was way wrong and missed out on a really exciting opportunity- ultimately disappointed and bummed out. But a really great lesson- Once again i don't know everything and i'm not as smart as i'd like to think. Yep talk about a slice of humble pie. After we move- if we move- hopefully we'll move - i'm registering again.
So i'm pretty selfish. I grew up in a pretty worldly family- my parents would kill me for saying that - but it's true - if you saw how we have lived - that is me growing up- and our lives you would see yup pretty worldly. My testimony even up till before i met my husband was well lacking greatly of Christ. Now don't get me wrong i was saved when i was in the 9th grade. But i did not understand the christian walk. I was pretty confused. I'm very greatful for the church i'm in now and the teachings and that my children can be brought up there. anyways back to my point selfishness- Yeah i'm pretty selfish- I grew up thinking it was all about me which makes for an interesting day to day struggle with my thoughts- And guess what i still act like that sometimes - well probally most of the time- And it's not about me. It's about Christ. my life is not about me and what i do and what i get and accomplish- it is about the work that Christ does in my life. This is a hard thing to grasp for me at times because like i said i'm selfish. I have been feeling very hazed - like i can't really think clearly and i'm having trouble really getting my sinful thoughts under control and really taking ever thought captive and giving it to the lord - big or small. So i'm planning on fasting on thursday- i know i should not be saying this because it kind of defeats the purpose of it being between God and myself- but i do not want any glory or praise for this. I am sharing this because maybe God can use this. I never really understood fasting but i just did a study on esther and felt a tug. I know you would not think that the story of esther would cause me to come to this matter but it has. I'm wanting to fast because i want to really focus on him . When the hunger sets in and the pains - to be reminded to focus on him and pray. I long for special time with him. For growing that relationship with my saviour- I want to get my focus off of myself. I want to really sit and listen.

I'm using the opportunity to clear my mind and heart.

I do desperately want to Glorify him and praise him. Shamefully though i have this aweful voice in the back of my head - and it's- i want people to say good job- your awesome- pats on the backs -stroke my ego please- i don't want to do things because i want people to see how awesome i am or think i'm awesome- because i'm not. i'm aweful. sinful. wretched. I'm ashamed of my behaviour and sinfulness and past- how ugly my life was without God and i'm thanful that i have a saviour that washes me clean and white as snow. because i was stained crimson red. I want when people look at me to see Christ and not I.
I'm not fasting to get things from him. I am fasting to shift my horrible focus from myself and the world to him.


I hate sin.... i despise the things of this world. I long for the fruits of the spirit. But ya know what if i was perfect and had all those things I would not need christ. And that is something i don't think i could live without. My favorite characteristic of christ is his faithfulness. God is faithful. I love that. I love that he is the same today, tomorrow , and yesterday- he is not fickle , he does not change with the times. He is God. how comforting is that in such a fickle world.
He is my comforter. I have moments where i wish i had someone to talk to (other than my husband and child. ) Someone to cry with when times are hard. But in times when i feel all alone- i can lean on him. I can cry to him- and he'll hold me in his righteous hand. NEATO!
Now don't get me wrong - i still crave for fellowship and friendship. And i still pray for that .
But sometimes satan can use that loneliness to get us to focus on ourselves. Which sometimes i do - i have a big old pitty party. How much better would it be if i praised God in those times. Instead of creating bitterness. It would be a lot better.

I ramble i know . I've probally gone down a million bunny trails.
I've got some work to do while Riley is asleep and i really wanted to start reading today during her nap time- I'm wanting to use my quiet time and down time for more preductive work and time to spend with my Abba. Untimed time. I should be making phone calls to schedule shows but i feel like i have more important things i can do that will really last.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the encouragement.



oh - Riley can now do a tumble (flip) by herself - unassisted- it's pretty awesome- She amazes me - i was reminded today that We (mothers/wifes) set the tone every morning for our house---- talk about humbleing. Anyways i think about that sweet little girl and what kind of tone am i setting for our home everyday and for her.

-Love-

I haven't written on this in forever- i'm not sure anyone other than my husband really reads this. Though this is meant more for me than for others to read but if i was completely honest i 'd say yeah i wish more read this.
So David has gotten a new job- PRAISE THE LORD! - and he graduates in Dec. Big changes are happening or are coming. We want to move back to Jackson for several reasons. The new job has kind of been the real pushing factor that got the ball really rolling. I'm still working from home but i'll be taking on another job come Jan. I'll be teaching swimming lessons to kids and babies. I love the water babies class. it's by far my fav. So big changes are coming- it's an exciting time because you really have no clue what's going to happen - but i'm really excited - David has worked really hard for all of this. (that's the big update about life. )
I've been struggling a lot with the whole issue of Control. I've been struggling with it for years and i'm finally really learning to let go. It's like a weight off my shoulder to really trust God. I should have done it earlier - when i didn't want to. But i got really convicted last month and have been trying to take more effort toward really releasing my grip and stop fighting with him. I am a failure though. But i honestly want to fully trust him and really show that.
Riley is growing well way to much. She has gotten rid of her paci and is potty training right now. She is so proud of herself and i'm pretty proud of her too. She is currently playing with my old doll house - her new fav. thing. and her reward for making big girl choices . The pressure is on to really bring her up in a Godly manner. I had an awesome mother in law and spiritual mother. awesome. and i'm really feeling the void - i feel so unworthy to even share her last name. It took time for that relationship to grow and right as it was really blossoming it got taken away. I crave a spiritual moma - no one can ever replace her or even measure close to her and that makes me not want another but i know that kind of relationship is important. I'm praying that if that's the Lord's will to bless me with that kind of relationship he'll bring it.
I have been blessed though with amazing women at our church that i can call for discipline advice and such. But i crave for more friendships- an area that i'm having to give to the lord. I long for close friendships with a lot of the women at church. I feel very distant - mainly due to location i think i dunno- maybe that will get better once i move to jackson. But lonliness is huge and i think i've always dealt with that since i was young. I'm needy. But that gives more opportunity to lean on Christ and build my relationship with him. I really sometimes don't know how to build relationships , or how to be a good friend- i'm trying to learn but i'm a little slow in that area and dumb. I like to think i'm oh so smart and know so much - but in actuality simple concepts and ideas i have a really hard time wrapping my mind around then sometimes my brain just doesn't click. And in the term of friends when i don't know how to act or say i think i come off mean and rude - once again learning.
Anyways i long for that friendship and i'm a little jealous of the other women and their bonds and conversations and friendships.
But i need to stop focusing on myself( i can be pretty selfish- my fleshy self is so humbling and well at times shameful.) and focus on Christ. Building that relationship. Listening . Learning. I've been longing to learn what kind of woman he wants me to be - who am i called to be - And i am so blessed with a current study about women in the bible - it's an amazing answer to prayer. I was so pleasently suprised with it. I think I'm going to start reading an elizabeth elliott book as well. I long ot have a quiet heart - and to really react In christ. not me . him.
Mary had such a quiet heart and spirit. And was so thoughtful. a servants heart- I long for that. Not because she was like that but because that is what a woman of God should look like- She was an awesome picture for me. She had her downfalls and she was not perfect but she loved the lord and it showed. If only my testimony could radiate that.
And not for my glory and but for God's .
Testimony- What God has done for me.... WHAT HE HAS DONE.
not how great am i look at me.
For it not to be about me.


Time to stop writing and get my little girl to bed.
Thanks for reading if you are out there .

So i traveled to oxford this weekend. Alone. And i love the long car ride by myself because it's quiet and i get time to think and reflect. I'm slowly realizing who i am. I know that's weird and all since i'm 24 - i probally should have figured that out sooner. But i spent most of my teenage years and earlier trying to be who everyone else wanted me to be or who i thought i should be. In that i figured out what i liked and what i didn't like. I wear the clothes i wear now not becasue i want someone to think i'm cool or it's what i'm suppose to wear but because i like it. i listen to the music i listen to because i like it. I am who i am. I still think i have a lot to learn about myself . I've had so many people kind of tell me who i am or what i am i never got a chance to figure it out for myself till well college and maybe that is were you are suppose to figure it out. maybe that's where everyone gets it - i just happen to be 24 out of college , married, and a mother. so i feel a little behind and a little ahead at the same point.

I'm reading this really great devontional - i hate the name - Daily steps for God Chicks. it's the chicks part i don't like i dunno. it's silly. there has only been one day where i had a problem with the book and it's was personally too close to home and i thought she totally was wrong in what she said......but that's another story. anyways i really like it cause right now the last few days she's been going on about how we are princess' and not in the it's all about me i'm a princess - in the it's not all about me - it's about my king who is wild for me! i love that - thinking that God is wild for me. And it asks these thought questions like what do you bring to God's team--- usually i shrug my shoulders and go i dunno. but i'm actually trying to think about these things cause it's important to know who i am in christ. but the princess thing that's how God sees us. Our father sees us not wearing rags but with royal clothing and a crown. He sees us with a crown on our heads. we are toyalty. being his daughter makes you a princess....regardless of what you feel like and regardless of your past. then she goes into detail about what that means for us .....that we have an obligation. when you understand that you are the loved-beyond-meeasure daughter of the king, you will live your life differently. When you understand that you are designed to serve humanity as God's princess, then you can freely give, and you have an obligation to do so..... That's just a little bit of it. But it has been good.

Time to go feed my daughter. 'night

i miss her so much. and i miss these moments.


sometimes it feels like a completly different life now.

i miss her. i miss her. desperately.

and yes i'm going to act like i'm 3 right now ........ it's not fair. not at all.

so my old roommate is getting married and i'm shooting her pictures in the morning. i love doing that. absolutely love it - it keeps me active in my gift. And i just love capturing those moments in time. I'm hopefully going to be updating my flickr with more pictures since i just dumped all my cards out onto my external drive. i miss flickr and spending all those times searching and looking at other peoples art and feeling like i'm somewhat sharing mine. Anways back to the wedding part. it's going ot be nice i think because it'll be a bunch of old friends and people from hattiesburg - one of the many towns i went to school at. So it'll be nice to see familiar faces and well feel loved. I have a great group of friends at church i dont' alwasy get to hang out with them but i really do have some good friends there. Outside of church my friend list has dwindled. Sometimes i wonder if i'm a bad friend or bad company. I hope not either. 

  David has started back school. which is always a little bit odd when he's been home. I'll survive though. He'll finish his degree in Dec. 

Hoping to take a few day trips this summer. To Laurel and one to Oxford. 

Riley's vocabulary has really opened up. She's talking more and more and her personality is really shining through. WE have been watching movies togetehr the last few days and The little mermaid and Finding nemo have been our most watched - i'm contemplating renting some for her. Also realizing how much disney really shifted my view of love and realtionships - i mean fairy tell weddings at the age of 16???? really????? yup all the princess' where 16! craziness. and it's ok to be disobedient and spoiled cause it all works out in the end =) 

But with all the taken and what i'll tell riley as she grows up and make sure she's not jaded or whatever - i do love a good disney movie and under the sea is a great song to dance to with my little girl =) . 

I have started gardening. yes me. my mother in law was a gem at it and i thought i might as well i can't be the other sprayberry woman not gardening. so i finally got my hands dirty. And i'm patiently wating for my flowers to bloom. i haven't killed anything new yet. and it's actually really rewarding. I'm hoping my sunflowers pop up ---- they haven't yet which is worrying but hopefully they'll make it everything else is coming up. so hopefully my mammoth flowers will join them and start poking their leaves out from underneath the dark ground. 

So Spring break is over and david is back at school for the next 8 weeks. He also starts his intership in may. Good news is he will be graduating supposedly in december which will be great. i cannot believe he will finally be graduating. Exciting times. Also in 2 weeks we will be traveling to New York. I'm a little nervous about going i've never been. Please pray that God keeps us safe. And that i trust in him. satan is def. trying to attack me and get me to doubt and worry and be fearful.
On the Riley front she is as cute as ever. When you ask her a question sometimes she goes" think think think" and brings her pointer finger up to her head and taps it- like winnie the pooh - it's adorable. and her new big thing is she wants to be a ballerina. She has a skirt that she wears all the time. Cuteness.

It's really easy to get so caught up in things - david with work and school, me with work . that we can easily miss things and not make time for eachother - marriage wise or as a family. Please pray that we continue to be aware of this and to make that time and remember what truly matters.

i spent most of my life craving someone to spend valentines day with and now that i have someone i could care less about the holiday in general . maybe it's because we have thanksgiving christmas anniversary and birthday plus vday month after month. But i will say i do enjoy all the heart and pink things. It's more for Riley now and getting to do special things for her. We made rice crispy hearts today and painted them - of course i start out trying to actually make something out of them - by the end we are just squezzing the icing all over them- to me things are so much more fun when you are a kid or just act like you are 2 1/2.
I'm really enjoying what i'm doing - being a stay at home mom and working from home. I absolutely love my business and can't wait to see what God will do with it. I got the great joy and opportunity to go get really special training in atlanta with my sponser and it was a huge blessing.
Holiday on Monday which means dave will be around - which is always wonderful- riley loves it when he's here.
Hoping we'll get to make it to the science museum this weekend.

the wind keeps howling against my window like a wolf. Mondays and Thursdays are usually my most trying days -expecially thursday. I clean. But tonight i won't be alone again- dave's class got canceled - nice gift. Waiting on the Lord. sitting on the edge of my seat in anticipation.
I get a wonderful gift this weekend - i get to get away with my husband for the weekend - - with school and work he's always busy.theres always that issue of time. It'll be nice to goof off together and not have to worry about what we have to do next. But for now it's Time to make lunch.

there is no greater joy at this moment than my duaghter calling me on the phone- yes calling me -she asks someone to dial of course - and begging me to come home - sometimes she will add to bing something. We've been baking a lot together lately.
Life is generally good i suppose- there are up and down moments- the dreary weather doesn't help- i crave those moments of sunshine cause there is so much gloom lately. But i do love a good reason to curl up in a blanket in the morning with riley and jsut sit together while we watch bunnytown or something else ammusing.
Relying on God for pretty much all my needs which is where i think i need to be. Knowing htat he is the ultimate provider and ultimately i have no control and he provides everything in my life- everything. and its nice that i can rest in that. i can give it all to him-0 i can give my worries to him and i should not even worry it is a silly thing cause he is in control and he is perfect he is my abba my father my provider my creator he is perfect holy and good. I think that is why i find so much joy in my job - that he provides ever aspect of that job- the people the opportunities the money - all of it. that i have no other choice than to trust him.

Looking forward to tomorrow morning when my riley bear wakes up and wants to drag me out of bed to make her breakfeast. i love this age.

last night a mouse decided it wanted to be friends and came and sat right down by me and watched t.v. with me. i didn't realize this till it was too late. we took measures to catch him - and probally made fools of ourselves in the process but this morning we got him.

made cookies and a mess this afternoon it was pure joy.


learning more about grace - and how to be gracious even when it hurts.

riley is such a joy and encouragement - even more so this time of year.
struggling with loneliness but i know God will use it. i'm so greatful for the friends who have truly been there. and for the people God has used.

so a lot has happened in the past month. a lot. too much. i lost the most influential person in my life. i feel like i'm carrying around this big whole in my heart or a sadness. i miss her terribly and am hoping i am making her proud. i also lost my dog - which added to the broken heart and made me even more sad. but my dear husband bought me a puppy and i must say he is beginnning to be a joy. his name is leeland. i didn't not make the 9 shows in 45 days for work. i have all these goals and haven't made them- i think i've been going about it wrong. it's totally God's to do what he wants with it. so whatever he brings every month i will rejoice cause he did it not me. i'm hopefully to get out of my circle and friends soon. waiting to see what the lord will do with it - and i've been so greatful with what he has done and is doing.
i tend to dwell and be fearful with a lot that has been going on i fear what will happen next - not fully trusting hte lord - the fear has gotten so great that i get so anxious - finally i said ok lord this is yours take it i don't want it i don't want to be fearful i want to trust you fully and totally - i'm seeing everyday as a beautiful gift and looking at my time as not my own but my lords. i think God is using my puppy- yes that's right my puppy to teach me even more . i tend to go go go . if we leave the house for the day i try to get as much done while i am gone and riley ends up drained and so tired and it really wears on her. well know that we have a puppy i cannot go go go i have to be able to go home and not spend my whole day gone - different - and somewhat uncomfortable but i think it is good. not only to teach me but for riley- the way i do my days is so unfair to her . so i'm interested to see what and how the lord will use this. i also think my days have been so full that i'm distracting myself that i'm not seeing what God has for me. anyways i suppose you coudl say this is all or some of what God is doing and teaching me in life. i have a show tonight and i'm so eager to see what the lord will do. sorry i'm a horrible typer but thanks for reading.

So i've taken on a new job. I'm starting to sell jewelry from Premier Designs Jewelry. I'm really excited about it and really like the company and believe in it. the only problem is i don't really believe in myself. to get started you are suppose to get 9 shows ( part of a contest- you get a pretty awesome reward if you do this) asking friends and family to help you out by throwing a show and that's how you make your way out of that circle. I think i only have one show booked. No one is really interested ( that i'm close too) . I'm having my training show this friday and i'm not really sure if my friends will turn out i only haveo n definate from one. i'm just praying that some more will support me cuase this is such a huge change and thing i just haven't don- but i think i may be lacking with who will show up. So i start doubting myself and if people like me or what not. pretty stupid i suppose. This really is and has to be a God thing. I have to do my best and leave it up to him. Trusting him fully with this new responsibility. The whole while i can't help but feel a little shelfish in starting this when so much is going on around me. I feel uterly helpless. I have complete faith in the Lord. I have complete faith that mary will and can get better and beat this but sometimes i feel like i'm the only one trying to remain optomistic. This really is in the Lords hands. The only thing i can do is try to be an encouragement and just keep praying. I just hope i am being an encouragement.
Dave got a premanent job at mdes. he has benefits and is doing just spectacular i'm so proud of him. He starts school tonight. I know he is going to do amazing. His birthday is coming up very soon and i want to do something special for him. To encourage him- cause i know he needs it . i try to do my best but i think he needs a little something extra if you know what i mean.
Riley is doing really well. she's growing growing growing. and is such a sweetheart. she was sick yesterday - coughing a lot - so we played it safe and stayed home . dave got to spend a lot of time with her yesterday which i think was just special for both of them exspecially since he's going to be back at school. it's been pretty awesome having him home so much i'm gonna miss seeing him. The heat down here has been pretty bad but finally yesterday it was a little cooler you could feelthe difference. so thankful the lord provided that break. Well i think it's mr. potatoe head play time. thanks for reading.

Life has been crazy as of late. I had the absolute best weekend with friends hanging out till midnight and reading a good book and the best lunch for a long time.
friends are such an encouragement.

mary has been in and out of the hospital this week. she got sick and with her immune system down she has to go inot the hospital. they finally got all her blood cells - white and red - up to normal again. i hate seeing her like this its a true roller coaster but as harold said on the phone last night - God is still faithful.

i'm so thankful for the friends that have cared enough to pray for our family and for mary and have cared enough to make a simple phone call to say hello and let us know they love us. - that encouragement and friendships that much more of a blessing and makes me so greatful.

riley watched high school musical today and loved it. it was too cute. she's such a blessing and just darling. i enjoy her every minute of every day.

this past weekend we spent at my parents and we got back home today. and there is such a wonderful comfort that i never realized about this place how much of a relief it is to be here. some of the people in the town maybe a little weird but hey that keeps it interesting. this place is such a blessing and gift and i'm so thankful for it.

i'm trying to learn how to not stretch myself out- i tend to committ to things 100 % so other things suffer. i need to learn boundries and happy mediums i suppose.

i love how beatiful christ is and what he did . how we are to be slaves to him and not to sin anymore. i like that . i like that i can put on a new self. take off the old put on the new. i hate my fleshy self , my sinful self. i really love the - christ not i- .

So "my brother" got married and it was wonderful - it was the most beautiful wedding and the most fun. Now that i'm back i now have to undertake the task of going thru my 800 plus pictures and getting them ready for him. And i'm really looking forward to it. It's such an honor and blessing to be doing this for him. It's something that is going to last the two of them the rest of their lives and something they will always enjoy. I can't wait for them to see them.

So much is going on in our lives right now and we could really use your prayers.


Dave and i have been together for 4 years now and it's so weird to think that 4 years ago this time we were going to new orleans and hanging out , becoming bf/gf. He's such a blessing in my life and always a support. This weekend dave and i are going to take riley to her first movie in a movie theater. i'm pretty excitted.


Everyday i'm realizing how important friendship and fellowship are. And how my soul craves that and needs it.

I'm really loving all this summer rain.

i think it's funny that people are moving away from xanga and doing blogspots- i've noticed a lot more people have started a blogspot lately. i've had this blogspot since forever before i even had a xanga. i did xanga becuase that's where everyone was but still kept this sucker cause well i liked it and i will continue to keep both. Funny How things change.

Riley just turned two this past friday and her big two year old check up is today. Should be interesting , we've been playing doctor lately so i wonder how she will react now when we go. we shall see. I'm thinking of under going the task this afternoon of changing rileys bed (it's a convertable) to a toddler bed- i think she is ready.
The party went pretty well on saturday though i wish more of her friends would have been able to make it but it was a nice party and everyone blessed us so very much.
My brother is getting married on saturday and i am the photographer for the wedding. It is going to be in New Orleans and i'm pretty excited . not only about the wedding but about being in new orleans again with my husband. N.O is where everything started for dave and i - it holds a special place in our hearts plus i have so many memories tied there . It's going to be wonderful. The possibilities are endless . We will be spending some quality time alone - the drive down has great talks awaiting us . And the fun of walking the streets - well i jsut can't wait.

Riley is currently playing with her new little kitchen - cooking breakfeast and bringing me drinks to try out. time to go join her. She amazed me with her wonderful imagination and contentment with the little things ( like just sitting on a step)

This past weekend i went to see my bestest bud in her new town of laurel. it was really really fun.. we drove around learning the town and seeing the sites - ate at a good pizza place and went to hudsons and dirt cheap where we lost our minds and track of time. The things you find in these places is amazing and well mistifying. you reason with yourself about how it is a good buy. When we got home to put all her new stuff together the majority of what she bought had something wrong with it. but all in
all it was good buy plus she has new stuff in her apartment to make it even more homey. i can't wait to go back.
Yesterday my husband brought me home my fav. flowers it was a nice suprise. he hung out outside in the afternoon and blew up our pool. riley had so much fun just running in it. today we'll get to test it out.
Sunday is fathers day and i'm so excited for david- we get to celebrate him which is awesome cause well we love him and he's such an amazing father. i can't wait.
AND... Riley turns two next weekend. this will be a special time too cause hopefully all her friends will be there and they'll get to play and she'll actually know and be more aware of what is going on. i'm so excited.
Summer is going pratty well and i'm enjoying it overall even if it is oh so hot.

when i went off to college i noticed something you start to have your own book collection. I suppose that is when it really starts you get a book collection , it can either be school books or books you read in leisure or books you need to read for school - lit students always seem to have a really good collection cause well they like to read. Anyways I decided soon after starting college and my moving spree that i wanted to have a good collection. i in-visioned having a huge bookshelf full of books. The two houses i have lived in had book cases - i was very proud of the first bookcase i used because i almost filled up the whole thing with all my books making me realize i had more than i thought. Then when we moved here - we now have a glorious bookcase. it's huge. takes up almost the whole wall. it's wonderful. top to bottom shelves. the first top shelves are full with cd's - yes this could of been utilized better probably by books and use a few cd towers for the cds but alas i have a huge cd collection as well and i have cd towers they get in the way and take up too much space , we had three at the old house and still had an overflow of cases. -maybe one day well do a cleaning get rid of them all and keep all cds in the cd books we have which are almost full as well. anyways the other top shelf is for some of our movie collection - got a lot of those - i probably could have fit these in some other place but i gave up one cabinet for rileys hidden toy place - anyways the rest of it down is filled with books .. which looking at it is very nice - somewhat a sense of accomplishment. i'm missing one book that i really really want that i use to have but lost - called the golden apple - bout the Trojan war - read it in 7th grade and loved it. one of the few school books in high school i read - anyways there is a slight flaw in my collection- a self help book- yes i at one point - i think i was not fully thinking- ventured into the self help section - thinking well this book really isn't self help , how funny that they put it in this section- and bought this book. other than that i love my collection- ex specially my ever growing young adults / children collection. i've already handed down my kid collection of dr s' and other children / toddler books i had - her new collection is located on the very bottom level. - growing up and still to this day my parents own a ton of books they are everywhere . (maybe this is why i want just a ton of bookshelves) but alas all their books deal in some sort of way with either travel or psychology, a few deal with history- other than that not a ton of diversity. i wish i had wanted to read more in high school - i had more time in in my life then- probally a lot of time i wasted - plus i was always grounded cause of grades - of and on - bout every other semester during 10th and 11th - that time i could have read... oh well.

anyways the reason i even started to think about books is because today i was cleaning out some of riley's things and getting re organized. seeing what clothes she needs and such- getting clothes she doesn't fit in anymore together for her cousin. organizing her toys and her room. so it got me thinking what else i could move around and where everything was. making sure i was organized and as tidy as could be - all that coming from the mess i created in our last house of just pure clutter.
Sometimes i wish i could go back t0 a time when i enjoyed being barefoot running thru the neighborhood , going on adventures. i dunno what happened but lately i can't stand for my feet to feel dirty- feeling the dirt on my feet = yucky. maybe it'll just pass.

right now i'm surrounded by a tuckered out family riley is laying on the floor with her blanket and lela is laying right beside me on the couch.

todays best moment - sitting in the car listening to music on the way home and riley after being oh so quiet ever so softly saying hey momma.

swimming on monday and i cannot wait- diving , laps, sun bathing. i can't wait.

if you got this far and read all - you deserve a gold star- here you go!

way overdue for a post i suppose. my faithful husband has been checking for updates. Last weekend was simply wonderful. Dave and i had a movie marathon night full of harry potter and sushi - my absolute most fav. thing. It was fun but so hard to stay up so late. The next day we went to the zoo and had lunch with a giraffe. Saw some wonderful tigers , brown recluses - i want to stamp out that who species. The monkeys were as always entertaining. the black bear was pretty awesome sat right at the edge and was clawing a thing of wood - i wanted to give a big old hug . then the monkey that came to the edge of the water and held out his hand for food - sneaky little thing he was. So much fun. Dave sort of lost rileys puppy but someone turned it in- faith in humanity restored. Hopeing dave and i will go out once again on another date. sometime soon . This weekend my brother is having his engagement party should be fun. hope i see a lot of old friends. i gotta take the pictures. so much fun!

Dave is playing softball tonight and i think the babe and i are gonna go see him play. should be fun.
I have an eye infection /allergy not sure - doesn't look like anything is wrong with it but i have to put these drops in for a week cause me eyes hurt and felt like something was in them - that also means i have to wear my glasses all week - which sucks! i don't like my glasses not one bit but i suppose it will be good for me. we'll see.

Time to get to work i suppose so i can do something eventful and usefull for today.

our dog has developed this odd habit of getting underneath our bed. not too sure what's going on there.

hmm i think i may make a decent lunch for myself today- i've been wanting to make these hot cold sesame noodles but it has a peanut thai dressing - dave doesn't like the peanut butter in it. so i think i'll make it for myself today.
work , cook, and maybe read some , then softball.
sounds like a pretty good day.
time to go dance with riley

one word
HUMBLENESS
the world--- i hate the world and all it's temptations, it's lies. it's pride.
i find my self tempted and tested about loving them ( the people of the world - living of the word) . and making sure i don't have anger . mernt. at this moment i am catching myself - or rather the holy spirit is doing a little tugging. humbleness. in their pride i find how much more i need to be humble.( do we do things for our own personal gain and glory - oh look at me how great i am- or do we do them for his glory - look at him he did this not i , i am just a vessel ) i see who christ is and how we should live - IN HIM- and see how some people just don't get it - the plain and simple facts- how so many of us are blind to our own wretchedness. we don't want to see it.
but u know what we need to see it - cause when we do we so how much more we really do need christ and how awful we are . and how splendid and wonderful and perfect he is.

i am happy and joyful when i am in him, walking in the spirit glorifying him. When i am most unhappy is when i focus on me and i'm not walking in the spirit.

My focus needs to be elsewhere.

i find for me making bread is calming, and quiet and a simple wonderful time to praise him and glorify him with it - i know that probally sounds a little odd - but there is something so beautiful to me about making bread , how everything works together - how it rises and turns golden and makes this fluffy loaf- all the grains and earthly ingredients - pure ingredients that go into it. then giving the loafs away so that others can enjoy the gift that God has blessed u with - sharing the same joy with others.

this weekend - i get to see my husband - which is always well a pure and wonderful treat. i laid in bed this morning wishing he was still laying beside me , thinking about the word husband and how sweet it was and how i loved saying it - my husband- my loml. my other half. i get to see him tonight and play music with him- seeing now and realizing how much of a gift that is to be able to do that with him, to share something with him that he loves so much. ( so get the keyboard baby - i'm in)
not only to i get this blessed time with him but also with my extended family - they are coming in to town- i get to see some of my best friends - love on them and encourage them- i'm happy to just to be able to be there for them. I can't wait to see them. I alwasy look forward to seeing those smiling faces.

what a blessing.

Riley just pullled up my old rocking chair and climbed in it to be by me on the same level and see what all i am up to , i think it's time to go play and get ready for lunch.