So i traveled to oxford this weekend. Alone. And i love the long car ride by myself because it's quiet and i get time to think and reflect. I'm slowly realizing who i am. I know that's weird and all since i'm 24 - i probally should have figured that out sooner. But i spent most of my teenage years and earlier trying to be who everyone else wanted me to be or who i thought i should be. In that i figured out what i liked and what i didn't like. I wear the clothes i wear now not becasue i want someone to think i'm cool or it's what i'm suppose to wear but because i like it. i listen to the music i listen to because i like it. I am who i am. I still think i have a lot to learn about myself . I've had so many people kind of tell me who i am or what i am i never got a chance to figure it out for myself till well college and maybe that is were you are suppose to figure it out. maybe that's where everyone gets it - i just happen to be 24 out of college , married, and a mother. so i feel a little behind and a little ahead at the same point.

I'm reading this really great devontional - i hate the name - Daily steps for God Chicks. it's the chicks part i don't like i dunno. it's silly. there has only been one day where i had a problem with the book and it's was personally too close to home and i thought she totally was wrong in what she said......but that's another story. anyways i really like it cause right now the last few days she's been going on about how we are princess' and not in the it's all about me i'm a princess - in the it's not all about me - it's about my king who is wild for me! i love that - thinking that God is wild for me. And it asks these thought questions like what do you bring to God's team--- usually i shrug my shoulders and go i dunno. but i'm actually trying to think about these things cause it's important to know who i am in christ. but the princess thing that's how God sees us. Our father sees us not wearing rags but with royal clothing and a crown. He sees us with a crown on our heads. we are toyalty. being his daughter makes you a princess....regardless of what you feel like and regardless of your past. then she goes into detail about what that means for us .....that we have an obligation. when you understand that you are the loved-beyond-meeasure daughter of the king, you will live your life differently. When you understand that you are designed to serve humanity as God's princess, then you can freely give, and you have an obligation to do so..... That's just a little bit of it. But it has been good.

Time to go feed my daughter. 'night