forgiveness is a huge thing and a hard thing. it's an everyday choice. to forgive as christ forgave us. an easy thing to say but a hard thing to do. to love as christ loves. hugeness.

i'm wanting desiring the things that are not of this world. i constantly desire wisdom, grace, a gentle and kind spirit- lovingkindness. for these things it must be him not me.
no longer i but christ.......it's not about me. in a world full of i i i and me me me. everyday death to self. i've never realized how important this is until now. how needed it is. how necessary. it's an everyday lesson but also an everyday choice. to take the wisdom my husband gives not as critisism but as helpful advice, and same for him. no one wants to hear or see how horrible they are. pride- it gets in the way and is something seen as ugly that no one wants to admit- add some selfishness to that. i am ugly. i'm ashamed of my behavior and who i am. the sinless self. but Christ can take all of that away and make it beautiful. glorifying him. and that is wonderful and beautiful and hopeful. i despise my sinful self. i'm glad it's him and not i.
i crave and want a servant heart.


riley has been an everyday blessing. I think God has used her to show me and teach me. a little person, small and meek, still learning in this world is used to teach her mother about selflessness and grace and unconditional love. i love her spirit and who God is molding her to become i can't wait to see her continue to grow.
She is really blossoming. her imagination is great, the games we play are amazing. it hleps bring back my child imagaination to be able to play those games again. today we are going to cook - make some homemade cookies and granola.