this week has been somewhat trying. i've been doubting myself in probally every aspect. thinking i'm pretty much worthless- hating myself, and questioning myself on every aspect that i do from where should i go to the grocery store and cleaning. To am i good mom , do i give riley enough attention. i need to stop and just be myself. and not question everything so much cause if i just keep this up i'll be a depressed little person that hides underneath her bed and doesn't want to go outside.

i'm not a put together mom at all. i walk into cups and i'm a mess. riel yis trying ot put a top on somethign that well she's using hte wrong top and almost knocks over the whole drink then i have to throw that away while she attempts to join to older men in a conversation about dentures then tryies to push a chair all the way to the door. It's hard you think everyone is looking at you and judging you. and you know what so what if they are . my security does not lie in them. i think that's been my problem this week i've been focusing so much on all this negative and not realizing where my strenght and security lie. it's in christ. if i focus on myself - yeah i'm gonna be down and i don't how much growing i will do - but if i focus on christ then that makes a difference. for it's not me that lives but him who lives in me. i really like writting , i think it's the best way for me to think and get my thoughts out there.

everyday is a new morning and that's pretty awesome, cause everything is brand new.

riely is watching the wiggles. her fav show - then she'll take a nap. i'm pretty convinced these guys have no idea what they are doing. one of them named anthony when he sings he's not sure what to do like how do i lipsing- so he always starts off after everyone else. insteresting.

i'm redoing my hair today with a good old pal of mine. i think she's gonna like the bold choice i'm picking. hopefully it'll look good. i have ideas.