i'm so greatful for my husband - i've known him for a while and throughout our friendship , dating and marriage he's been probally the closest person to me - he can call me out on things- he sees my sinful nature - he sees the things i can't see and don't want to see. And though it is hard to deal with those aspects in my life and i tend to not want to - i think a lot of people don't want to think about themselves in a negative light - but i am greatful that i have someone who loves me enough to do this for me but not only does he do these for me he encourages me in my daily walk and life. Which is awesome. i also had great friends that i could turn to which was a huge blessing.
anyways my point is this :

We are called to live in community; this impacts not only our understanding of personal needs and our interpersonal relationships, but also our struggle against temptation and sin. Praying for God to “deliver us from the evil one,” means embracing one of the greatest protections God has given us: each other.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, we protect each other from self-delusions. Sin is deceptive (Heb 3 v. 13). We usually sin because we rationalize our behavior. We convince ourselves it’s no big deal. Our heart and will surrender to the excuses of our mind, and only someone else can point out our self-deceit. A loving brother or sister needs to say, “You’'ve got it all wrong. And you’re headed for disaster.” In addition to admonition, we need encouragement when we’re ready to throw in the towel.

One of the best and hardest parts of Christian discipleship involves our relationship with other believers. Sometimes it seems easier to go it alone. But that misses our calling as part of the body of Christ, the great building of God (see 1 Cor. 3).

Hebrews 3:7-19

i really loved these verses cause it shows how important fellowship is and makes me so greatfull for the fellowship i have in friends, family, and the church.

so i'm reading the tale of despereaux and it's quite amazing. i'm finding a lot of undertones and truth - especially with the whole light and darkness in the world. And how desp. goes against the norm and stands up for what he believes is right. She mentioned the word perfidy and this story has so much of it in there.... which is sad because there is a lot of it in the world but it makes desp. that much more sweet and the story that much more wonderful and true. I love absolutely love despereaux. i can't wait to read this to riley one day.

i've started being less lazy in the kitchen in the mornings. i've actually put breakfeastes together the last few days and i've enjoyed it.


i want to take my fav. person out on a day date this weekend. saturday night we are going to hattiesburg to see some friends play. and well while we are in town i wanna take him to a potter y/ canvass painting store and paint something together - i know it's gooby and corn but i think he would really appreciate it and it would be fun with him plus i've always wanted to check those places out. and this place is decently priced.

so this past weekend i went to oxford, it was simply wonderful. it was so cold. my face was frozen half of the time and i doubled up on jackets but even though it was cold it didn't ruin the weekend i think it made it better, running around in the cold with friends - was simply wonderful. sitting around a table, drinking coffee and enjoying the conversation and company. wonderful times and memories. I miss it. Sunday i stood in the bread department at kroger and got sad cause it wasn't bottle tree and all the baked goods would pale in comparision. i got spoiled this weekend with good times. But i'll be up there again.
i just really enjoy small towns and small mississippi towns in particular.
but it is good to be home and being home makes me enjoy those moments away even more and not take then for granted and in the same turn being away makes me appreciate home as well and the friends i have here. if only we could all be in one place. i have two new books - girl meets god and the tale of desperaux - i started desperaux last night and i'm already in love. i'm glad i'm reading again - i got inspired to while in oxford - having the background noise of an old movie on the screen eating strawberry fields out of a coffe cup with a measuring spoon cuddled up on a couch reading breakfreast at tiffany's ...... i was reminded i loved these moments.

i painted last night it felt good. i'm pretty pleased with it as well. it's a tuscan sunset.

prayer is not telling God what he already knows, it's actively trusting him.
i worry way too much. it's actually a problem for me . it can cause phsyical pain if i let myself worry so much. worry is not trusting God and i whole heartedly know this. But i think i worry and wonder too much about how i appear or what others think of me . I tend well no i do forget my value to him. And that alone should be enough. I think some of the clouds in my mind are starting to part.

Going to clinton today to hang out with a dear friend. can't wait.
also meeting up with a friend to plan a bridal shower for another friend. should be fun

i get to go to oxford this weekend i'm really really pumped i've been wanting to go the last four years and i finally get to go visit some awesome people.


Tomorrow is valentines day and i'm hoping for a good one. i have some things up my sleeve . hopefully he does too. we'll see , we'll see.

so i got it this morning. i got it - it all became so clear i'm doing my devotion this morning on Hebrews 11, it's about faith - faith in what we know and what we can't see. faith is knowing God's character and his work and his promise.

God is not an ever changing god, God does not change with the culture. He is not a one size fits all god. He is God. He is the same today yesterday and tomorrow. He is faithful. He is true he cannot contradict himself. That's what is so amazing about him . He is God.

His requirements for the dealing of sin was fulfilled when Jesus offered himself as the one perfect and holy sacrifice to pay the wage for our sin. God was satisfied when he did this. His prophecy was fulfilled.

You can depend on him to be the same God. and i take comfort at that. That i can read his word and know him. that he isn't going to change on me or anything.

i've had the information , i've known these things but the light bulb just went on. it all clicks and i get it.

it's rainy and cloudy today and cold , and to me it's almost comforting.
i was going to go get my oil changed today and get a free car wash. but instead i'm staying in and i may even read while riley is taking an afternoon nap here in a few minutes. I've already read the jfp. but i think it's time for a book. that's one thing i miss about nursing and riley being so young that all she did was eat and sleep- that was the first time in forever where i would just sit and read and i loved it i looked forward to feedings cause i could read a cool book. but then she got older and midnight book readings ended. so today i will try to read some eudora welty or some grim adventures . i'm just not sure.

dave and i were going to go on a date tongiht - but we couldn't get a babysitter - pretty much our whole story for the weekend. no babysitter tomorrow either - so we're going to have a date here. i'm going to go run an errand pick up dinner and a movie and come home for a date. i mean who says you can't have a date at home why do we think we have to acttually go out and stay out and all the jazz i mean we use to have movie marathon night and we'd hang out at someones home and jsut watch movies - those nights rocked - so tongiht we get to have a date night at home - and i'm looking forward to it.

riley is toting around her tatered blanket gigi . and lela is doing spins trying to get my attnention cause she has to go peepee. nothing like a nice unplanned afternoon at home.


my hair is blue and i've gotta a new love nickname of blueberry.

there are some strawberries in my refrigerator and i think they are calling my name

this week has been somewhat trying. i've been doubting myself in probally every aspect. thinking i'm pretty much worthless- hating myself, and questioning myself on every aspect that i do from where should i go to the grocery store and cleaning. To am i good mom , do i give riley enough attention. i need to stop and just be myself. and not question everything so much cause if i just keep this up i'll be a depressed little person that hides underneath her bed and doesn't want to go outside.

i'm not a put together mom at all. i walk into cups and i'm a mess. riel yis trying ot put a top on somethign that well she's using hte wrong top and almost knocks over the whole drink then i have to throw that away while she attempts to join to older men in a conversation about dentures then tryies to push a chair all the way to the door. It's hard you think everyone is looking at you and judging you. and you know what so what if they are . my security does not lie in them. i think that's been my problem this week i've been focusing so much on all this negative and not realizing where my strenght and security lie. it's in christ. if i focus on myself - yeah i'm gonna be down and i don't how much growing i will do - but if i focus on christ then that makes a difference. for it's not me that lives but him who lives in me. i really like writting , i think it's the best way for me to think and get my thoughts out there.

everyday is a new morning and that's pretty awesome, cause everything is brand new.

riely is watching the wiggles. her fav show - then she'll take a nap. i'm pretty convinced these guys have no idea what they are doing. one of them named anthony when he sings he's not sure what to do like how do i lipsing- so he always starts off after everyone else. insteresting.

i'm redoing my hair today with a good old pal of mine. i think she's gonna like the bold choice i'm picking. hopefully it'll look good. i have ideas.

i'm in a downer today. completly. i feel ugh. i'm over thinking as usual. i need peace and some calm and for my restless mind to rest. i feel like it's going a million miles a minute. i've prayed.. next i'l read.

riley looks pretty adorable today. her little stomach and hair all in her face. she doesn't really want to have anything to do with me. hopefully later she will. i'm off to see a friend later this afternoon. so that should be great.

i did spin last night which was pretty awesome. except for the sore bottom. i think i may do it friday as well. then sat. do some yoga. i dunno maybe.

today i got up extra early to take my puppy in to get groomed only to fin out she wouldn't be ready when i could pick her up - no guarentee so she didn't get groomed - that means next week she'll be going to petsmart to get groomed. i was not a happy camper - but at least tonight is game might with some awesome people. and i get to hang out with them before this afternoon. should be fun.

so i'm sittin here with my computer and riley is sitting next to me - watching playhouse disney , her little hand is clutching her ankle. she fazes back in and stretches contemplates laying down on my lap but returns to an upright position sitting. this pretty much rocks.

- i think she may still be tired from last night - we didn't get home till 9- after spending the afternoon at jolies and eating dinner with them- we went to gravity and saw aunt ree and hung up some of my art. she had a pretty good time sitting at the counter. it feels good having my art up somewhere other than my gallery. i likey.

i'm staying home today to get some work done . maybe clean the tub- maybe- and do some paper work for my other job- peer counselour- and then maybe go ahead and vacum. and givethe riley a bath cause she loves to play in the water.

i think today will be a good day.

yoga on saturday......i really really really can't wait.